relationships Archives - Between Bites - Bites of Food, Travel and Lifestyle

September 17, 2013 by Janey

Hello folks. Have you been wondering how I am? Thank you.

I’ve been doing great, still slightly off normalcy with some bottled up craziness, but when does that ever change anyway? A straight jacket is still often nearby if necessary.

As you all know, this season is not something I welcomed immediately with open arms. As for everyone who ever really valued relationships and have loved deeply, you’d understand how hard it is a transition to move to singlehood. The walk into the woods a.k.a healing season has to come first before frolicking through the meadow, running into the sun with open arms ready for a big embrace.

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When the Heart Speaks, Write.

April 30, 2013 by Janey

Heya folks! Again, I apologize for not updating this blog regularly. I have been constantly busy with work and life and molding my heart. This blog has taken a backseat. A lot of times, the impulse to write and let out all my thoughts beckon… The same number of times, I control that impulse to write since I don’t know where to start with so many thoughts lurking in my mind.

But mostly, I am scared to say something that might hurt someone’s feelings (SIUTK) since what occupies my head and development these days is mostly relational. For sure, that’s where I’ll be coming from. Like what I said in this post, it’s being impressed upon me to share my little knowledge and experience and that persistent voice won’t let up even if I’ve been ignoring it AGAIN for almost two months. I am not ignoring it today.

RELATED POSTS:

Love Never Fails

An Open Letter and An Open Heart

I am also terrified that though I may start with the right intentions, I might end up with the wrong message. And conveying the wrong message is not what I am tasked to do. I am here to share my testimony on how God has delivered me from insurmountable pain. How He has fought my battles with myself and with the world. And all this, no matter how cornball it sounds, wasn’t fought with the power of force but the power of LOVE. I’ll queue in Celine Dion’s voice and that song for some audio impact but I think my voice is much better… in the shower… so let’s not go there.

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Red in the Face (or somewhere else)

June 4, 2009 by Janey

I just had the most embarrassing moment of my adult life. I wish I can crawl under a rock and live there.

Spent 3 hours at this poker club playing the card sport I like.

I had AdKd on the button and raised it to 120. The small blind who has been as steady as a rock called and the big blind as well.

Flop: 5s 7d 10h

Small blind is first to act and he went all in with 250

Big blind calls.

I debated against it but I had over cards and redraw of flush so I called. I thought both of them were all in.

Turn: 8d

BB bets 200.

I folded.

River: 9h

SB shows pocket of 6.

BB shows 10d and 6c.

Both of them hit the straight and split the pot.

I have another story of how my pocket of Aces got cracked too but I’m only prolonging my agony. I had a bad night at poker. I wish I can say period at this point. I wish it ended there.

Bubba rang and it was my queue to go. I played until the dealer button. I had my chips changed at the counter. The lady cashier says bye to me as well as the chip changer. I bid them farewell with a smile, which they returned in kind. Their constant congeniality makes me forget for a second my bad nights on the table.

On the way out, I say bye to a poker buddy. He looks back and says bye too and I exited.

As I was coming down the stairs, I felt my back was wet. My suspicion emerges. In the car, my phone beeps and I dread what my gut tells me…

My poker buddy sent an SMS: “It’s the time of the month huh? Ingat pauwi.”

The car was moving but I immediately got up the seat and asked Bubba to check. Even before he opened his mouth, his eyes that’s usually chinito became otherwise, which told me everything. I have to see for myself so I turn my head and see the red mark on my pants.

The red mark is as big as my hand!!! How subtle.

It looked like China’s flag was on my butt!!!

I smacked myself on the head. I cringe. Cringe. CRINGE. CRINGE. I kept cursing. And I don’t normally curse. Not even when a person gets me so angry. I cursed my recklessness. I smacked myself on the head again. “Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe!!!,” I wailed. He had a stern look on his face. Oh no, I’m gonna hear a mouthful of why I didn’t do this or didn’t do that. He let on a mini tirade. He was mad because he felt bad for me. Perhaps, he only doesn’t want people to make fun of me.

I paused and felt like a smile was creeping around my lips. Why the hell was I about to smile, I thought to myself. I wailed again. Bubba, “you probably stained the chair.” I wailed again like a wolf howling in the cold lonely night. With my hands on my face, I kept shaking my head. I cannot believe this has happened to me. I am still shaking my head as I type this. I wish now more than ever that I were born a guy!

The place was packed to the roof because there was an ongoing tournament as well. The lady cashier, chip changer and at least 15 other people must have seen the red flag. It was as loud as an ambulance on a mission. I initially told myself that I wouldn’t care. I do not know those people anyway and they are not important to me. I am not important to them either.

Bubba told me that this is probably a sign that I should stay away from that place. It’s so much easier to convince myself to never again show my face there.

Back in the car, I stared in space for a bit then cringed again. Can one get tired of cringing? I suddenly laughed to Bubba’s bewilderment. I said I feel really embarrassed and angry… and SILLY! I am now going to be remembered for the China flag on my butt. I am now going to be the “BUTT” of the joke. Every pun intended. Such a nightmare but it was also an amusing circumstance. It just so happens that I’m the miserable victim… which probably makes it funnier.

by the way, this is not MY b*tt

Misery loves company and my thoughts were initially filled by images of Edison Chen and HK. Commercial break: I received confirmation today that bigger news are about to break loose. The news reached me last week but I was a non-believer. Somebody confirmed today that it’s true though. HK and another K involved in a sandal. Yes, a sandal video. I’m not going to put a C there even if you paid me a million dollars. You heard me right, sandal.

SIGH. There are worse scenarios than mine. And definitely, there are far more important issues than sandals. Is the administration manipulating us under our noses? Charter change is one serious topic that gets my blood boiling. But not this. I cannot be angry over this night. I find it quite funny on the contrary. I’m sure the people at the Metro Card Club did too.

At least, I gave them a good laugh. I was sick to my stomach but heck, I gave MYSELF a good laugh. That counts for something.

I really don’t know what to make of it. Saying that I do not care what those people think sounds defensive. And there’s no reason for me to be defensive. None has been offensive so far. Earnestly, a huge part of me feels embarrassed. My heart throbs at the image of them looking at my bloodied butt (and smiling secretly or laughing openly). At the other end of the spectrum however, I am tickled by what a riot the whole scenario was. It’s really interestingly hilarious to me!

There are two different feelings. Which do I pick? Of course, the one that’s easier to carry every day.

In reality, I know that I will still continue to go to work tomorrow, eat three meals a day, love the people around me, and if I want to, play poker at the same place. It doesn’t change who I am. In my book, it just adds to another interesting (or icky) story to tell. It became the catalyst that triggered this entry after all.